Ohmigod, we are now just a day away from the official U.S. opening of the Sex and the City movie, and I must admit -- like women all over this great land of ours, I am near or at the very edge of wetness in anticipation of the big moment. And I don't think I'm exagerrating what a cultural imperative SATC: The Motion Picture is; over at Time Magazine, no less a worthy than reviewer Josh Tynagiel has opined that "If you are a woman there is nothing in the world [emphasis mine] that will keep you from this movie on opening weekend."
Hmm. Sounds a little ominous, actually. Maybe I'll wait till Monday to see it.
Anyway, in honor of the great occasion, here's a musical tribute to Kim Cattrall, aka SATC's predatory bachelorette Samantha Jones. Frankly, I think it says what we're all thinking today.
Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Kim Kim Kim Kim Cattrall You were in Mannequin and that was a really good movie, Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Caaa-Traaaall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall Kim Kim Kim Cattrall You've never made a bad film. Oh, what the hell, Ring my bell, Let's go to the Dells, Our relationship will gel. I like your smell, You're really swell, I'm Charlton Heston for Contel. I love you Kim (I liked your dress at the Ace Awards) Cattrall.
For the record, that's Crow T. Robot (Trace Beaulieu) from a 1992 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. The film being parodied is Kim's 1985 City Limits, a really cheesy post-apocalyptic sci-fi epic also starring an obviously unhappy James Earl Jones.
Incidentally, a few years later, Kim -- obviously a good sport -- showed up at a MST3K fan convention, where she told the following story:
“I was in my hotel room and was channel surfing. And what do I hear but my own name being sung by a small golden man. And it just went on like that. I yelled for my boyfriend to come in and see this. We were just in shock. A few minutes later, one of my lesser accomplishments came on: ‘City Limits.’ I called my publicity agent and asked him if Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a real show. He said yes. I called my florist and had an odd request: to send a bouquet of flowers to a Crow T. Robot.”
You go, girl. But I think on sober reflection I'm still going to wait till Monday to see your new one.