Classic Remakes: Symptom or Disease?

on August 19, 2008 by Steve Simels

Readers who were around yesterday will recall that I expressed a certain, shall we say, alarm after encountering the trailer for the forthcoming (September 12th) remake of the 1939 George Cukor chick flick classic The Women (written and directed by Murphy Brown auteur Diane English). There are a lot of reasons for my unease about the thing, not the least of which is the notion of Meg Ryan replacing Norma Shearer as the long-suffering heroine, but the bottom line is that a contemporary film seems unlikely to have the sort of sophisticated ease of the original.

Here's a montage from the latter.

Compare and contrast it with the 2008 version...

...and I think you'll have to agree, it just doesn't seem particularly promising.

In any case, it got me (and some folks over at a certain political blog I won't name because it's proprietor doesn't link here, the swine!) thinking about some other remakes we might or might not want to see. Here's a sampling which will hopefully be good for a giggle or two.

"I eagerly await the remake of Mildred Pierce with Sandra Bullock."

"How about The Big Sleep with Luke Wilson and Kate Hudson?"

"Inherit the Wind with Adam Sandler and Vin Diesel..."

"The Maltese Falcon with Shia LaBeouf and Keira Knightly..."

"The Caine Mutiny, directed by M. Night Shamayalan. Twist ending: the strawberries were really, I dunno, aliens!"

"The Thin Man , with Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter." [Hey -- like I said, it's a political blog]

"It Happened One Night with Matthew McConaughey and Paris Hilton."

"White Heat with George W. and Barbara Bush....'Top of the world, ma!' "
[Hey -- like I said, It's a political blog. Actually, I really kinda would like to see that one.]

Or how about...and this is really hilarious.... "The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves as Michael Rennie."




Oh wait -- that one's actually coming out at Christmas.

We're doomed, folks...


Tags: George Cukor, The Women, Diane English, The Big Sleep, Inherit the Wind, The Maltese Falcon, The Caine Mutiny, The Thin Man, It Happened One Night

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