Well, I just got finished watching Sony's new DVD of The Back-up Plan, the 2010 romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez and Alex O'Loughlin. I missed this one at my local Hell Megaplex earlier this year, probably because it's a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez and Alex O'Loughlin. But given that Lopez is still the possessor of one of, if not the, cutest behinds in show biz, and despite the fact that I have yet to forgive her for the two of hours of my life that are irrevocably gone as a result of having to sit through her 2002 Maid in Manhattan, I figured, what the hey -- it might be worth a look.
You know -- how bad could it be?
The plot (freely adapted from the DVD box and a certain on-line encylopedia with little credibility):
Woman without a surname Zoe (Lopez) is a single New Yorker who dreams about meeting Mr. Right, having a baby, and living happily ever after. But after a string of Mr. Wrongs, Zoe commits to her back-up plan; she'll undergo artificial insemination and take on motherhood alone. But moments after she undergoes the procedure she's swept up in a whirlwind romance with cute guy without a surname Stan (O'Loughlin), who she meets while arguing over a taxi. Can Zoe hide her pregnancy until Stan is ready for the truth? Will the truth send him packing? And more important, if you can't answer those questions without even seeing the movie, shouldn't society consider making it illegal for you to procreate?
Okay, that last bit was mean-spirited. In any case, here's the trailer to give you an idea of The Back-up Plan's thousand sensitive beauties.
Anyway, the answer to our earlier question is...oh, hell, let's just say it sucks; I'd come up with a better joke at this point, but since the movie couldn't be bothered to generate one, neither will I. Seriously -- beyond the mildly puzzling fact that screenwriter Kate Angelo couldn't give her lead characters last names -- did she watch a lot of Sabu flicks as a kid? Is she a huge fan of Beck or Moby? -- The Back-up Plan is the kind of by-the-numbers generic farce that made me say, at a cocktail party a few weeks ago, "You know, I'm getting extremely tired of by-the-numbers generic farces." To give it its due, however, I will stipulate that the taxicab Meet Cute between Lopez and O'Loughlin is probably the lamest in screen history, and that the casting of comedian Robert Klein, as the doctor supervising the insemination, adds a certain element of suspense (i.e., will he botch the procedure in some way and will wacky complications ensue? Not giving anything away, but no he doesn't, and they don't).
Bottom line: You can, if you must, order The Back-up Plan here. And vaya con dios.